Am Going Home

Dear Goo,

I finished the trip and am going home tomorrow, finally...
I wanna see you, can we?

Something bothering me today.
I have this aching feeling deep within my heart, that something bad is gonna happen.
And I can't seem to shake it off
It's bothering me...it really did.

I wanna see you...
Please Goo.

Yours in despair,
Jane

Will You Goo?

Dear Goo,

Another day in the airport...am beginning to hate this.
You're in town but am out of town, well...that sucks.
Makes us value every chance we can get of being together, huh?

I can't sleep last night, being in a different city every single night really gets me hard.
This is worse than a jet lag, am disoriented, forgetting of what city I am now at.
And I miss you terribly...so, dunno why, I re-read our old messages, back to the beginning of our story. Feels like time traveling.

In a way, I guess that I needed it...
Cause my heart begins to weaken and faded.
It's not that my feelings for you have changed or anything.
It just tired I think.
Tired of being lonely, tired of being apart from you, tired of facing everything by my self.
I'm not used to it, I'm not equipped to this kind of relationship.
Cause I never been in one.

We both know that it would be hard, right from the beginning.
I know that it will be hard but maybe I just thought that it may not be this hard.
To be honest with you Goo, I lost faith sometime and considered of giving up.
But...when I look back and think about everything, about you, about us...I found a little piece of courage and it made me wanna fight some more battles.
I want you...that simple.

I'm willing to face pretty much anything.
I'm willing to deal with any kind of heartache.
I'm willing to fight.
I really wanna make us work.

What about you Goo?
Will you face it with me?
Will you deal it with me?
Will you fight this with me?

I love you Goo...with every fibre of my being, I love you too much, I don't wanna lose you.

I gotta go now, time to catch another flight.
Talk to you soon.

Yours in despair,
Jane

Live : From 23.000ft Above The Ground

News update from 23.000ft above the ground : we're happy. 

Yes...indeed we are. 

One of those perfect weekend getaway. 

Stealing time from our daily routine, it's nice...something new, something different. 

Hhmmm....it's....something. :)

Our ups for today : maximum time for us and us alone. 

Our downs for today: it's time to go back home. Welcome back real life. 

But hey...no biggie. We're still grateful..

Every moment, every second counts. 

From up in the air *flying above the clouds* we send you our love,

Jane and Goo

Our First Fight

This is the story about our first fight. 

Just like any other couples, we had our low moments too, we fight. 

But in our case, we'd like to avoid any kind of fight in anyway possible. 

Cause we have very limited time to spend together, so why spoil it with arguing, bitching and fighting. 

But it's bound to happen...and it did. 

Goo was on his week off and in town for a week but fate was not in our favor at the time, I had to leave town for a few days. 

So we decided to spend a day together right before my departure date. 

I took a day of leave from work so we'd have more time. 

He got caught up with work and said that he'd be running late. 

And so I've waited...and waited some more...a lot more actually...like 5 hours to be exact. 

I really don't like waiting, cause it's a completely waste of time in my opinion. 

But for him, I don't mind...but not for 5 hours...my patience was running out. 

I exploded with fury by the time he finally showed up. 

I said all the things that upset me and said that I need time to cool off. 

He sat under a tree and I walked around the park aimlessly, literally walked around the park, like round and round. 

And once I've cooled off, I walked back towards him then said...

"Okay, am calm now. Let's talk"

What he said afterwards really took me by surprise...

"Fun fact...it took you 884 steps for you to finally calm down"

"You were watching me?" I replied. 

"Of course...I worried you might fall down or something"

*Note to readers : I was a bit drunk at that time after having few cocktails while waiting for him.*

"But....I thought that you were playing with you phone" I responded. 

"No...I was just holding my phone so you'd thought that I was busy with something. I didn't take my eyes off of you the entire time you walked around the park" He explained. 

"And you were counting my steps, why?" I asked. 

"I don't know why either. I just did" He answered. 

You see...Goo can be very unattentive most of the time but then he would do something like that and took me by surprise. 

And with that...I instantly forgot about wasting 5 hours, totally forgot about my anger and I kissed him. 

That 884 steps that matter...

That unexpected acts that he did sometime...

That small things...

Melt my heart and he wins my heart over and over. 

Cheers,

Jane

Bring It On

I've been away for too long from this blog. 

Some kind of a writer's block you may call it. 

Or maybe, I'm just not feeling that cheesily romantic... :)

It has been a very hard few months for Goo and I. 

Our workloads are crazy beyond believe. 

And despite stealing a little time here and there to have our quality time, somehow...it's still hard for us. 

But I guess that what makes our relationship stronger. 

Cause long distance relationship makes every problem even more complicated. 

A little miscommunication can lead us to a fight. 

This relationship makes us wiser, more mature and more considerate towards each other. 

We often set aside our ego and make compromises cause we think that it's the key. 

I'm grateful...for every ups and especially downs that Goo and I have. 

If it means that we need to work twice as harder compare to anyone else, well then...bring it on. 

We're ready...!

Cheers,

Jane

Happy Happy Happy and Three More Times Happy

Someone asked me not so long ago. 

"Are you happy Jane?"

It was difficult for me to answer that in a heartbeat. 

Considering a lot of things, how can one be trully happy really?

Human being never felt satified of anything they have. 

I always thought that I will be happy if I can make the people I love happy. 

But, how can we ever make them happy if we are not happy ourself?

So the key of happiness is only ourself right?

I realize something today...

Simple things in my life made me realize that I AM happy...

So, to answer your question :

Yes, I am happy. 

That simple. 

Yours,

Jane

Addicted to You

My Goo,

I found my self missing you yet again

I think that I'm addicted to you

That simple... :)

How's ur day off?

Filled with endless sleep and video games, am sure...

Enjoy ya dear...you need the stress release

Just remember me every now and then

I love you so...

Yours,

Jane

One Fine Day

My Goo,

One fine day in the park. 

That sentence is enough to summarize what I feel about our day together. 

Thank you for such a marvelous day. 

I'm happy...we're happy :)

Happily yours,

Jane

A Time To Kill

My Goo,

Today has been a very long day.

The final moments are usually the hardest.

Can't stop counting the hours now...

Just less than 24 hours away in meeting you!

Aaaahh....this feels so surreal.

I don't know how but things seem to be in line,

Everything just falls on its track.

Everything just line up.

I'll see you real soon, okay...?

I love you and I miss you to my boiling point.

Yours,

Jane

Great News From Somewhere in Between

My dearest Jane,

Great news...!

Got my ticket, am coming home dear...

Can't wait to see you. 

Very much looking forward to know what you have planned for us :)

I will see you real soon, okay?

I love you so much...

And I miss you terribly.

Counting to the day,

Goo

I Miss You So Much It Hurts

My dear Jane,

I'm sorry for not be able to write to you as much as I wanted to. 

The condition here is worse than I thought. 

I ask for your understanding. 

Bear with me through this time apart, will you dear?

But I am well, the work loads are okay and my survival skills are at test. 

Please dont worry...no need to worry, I assure you. 

The hardest thing is...you. 

Being away from you, not being able to hear your voice, not being able to see your smile...

I miss you so much...

You're right, miss you so much it hurts. 

Your stories in your blog entries really help me...

Those are my remedy. 

10 more days...

I dont want to count days actually, it's only making it worse. 

But I cant help it...being here sucks. 

Please write to me as often as you could. 

I need the distraction, I welcome the distraction. 

Cause you are my fave kind of distraction. 

I love you so much...

I miss you terribly...

I cant wait to see you...

Always waiting for your distraction,

Goo

The Kind of Love You Fight For

Quote of the day :

From Endless Love - 2014

"My first love was everything all at once
The kind you never fall back from
Never tried to, never wanted to
My love so big, so strong...
It never dies, never fades, never loses its electricity
The kind of love you fight for..
The kind of boy you fight for..."

I guess that I have finally found my answer.
Kept wondering why these feelings never fade, even after everything that has happen.
I never stop loving you...
In those years...those feelings remain the same just wrapped neatly deep within my heart.

I chose not to let go, not to forget...
I chose you...

The kind of love you fight for...
The kind of boy you fight for...

I love you Goo, so damn much!

Yours,

Jane

My Wonderful Exception

My Goo,

Never knew that I could ever love someone this much. 

Never knew that missing someone could be this unbearable.

Never knew that one could ever capable of having these kind of feelings for someone. 

You are my exception...

My wonderful exception...

Crazy in loving & missing you. 

Counting the days...

I love you so Goo...

Always yours,

Jane

Soundtrack of The Day - 8 June 2014

My Goo,

This song really suits us tonight. 

I know you had a crazy day. 

1st day is always the hardest. 

Hang in there...Am here to help you get through those hard days. 

I wanna dedicate this song for you dear...

And this part in particular. 

Loving You Tonight - Andrew Allen

"And I'll say "hey! "

You'll say "baby, how's your day? "

I'll say "crazy"

But it's all gonna be alright

You'll kiss my smile

I'll pull you closer

Spend a while just getting to know ya

But it's all gonna be alright

Loving you tonight"

Gud nite Goo, rest well...

Yours,

Jane

Heaven Made Smile

Next to You - Chris Brown

"You've got that smile,

That only heaven can make.

I pray to God everyday,

That you keep that smile."

My Goo,

You said that my eyes express a lot of things. 

For me, your smile tells a thousand stories. 

I can tell what's going on inside that heart and head of yours just by simply observing your smile. 

I can tell whether you're happy or trying to be happy. 

I can tell whether you're relax and carefree or worry and troublesome. 

I can tell the difference between your smile or smirk when you're up to something. 

I guess you can say that I know you well enough by now. 

But still...I wanna know you inside out. 

It makes me understand you better. 

That's how important you are to me. 

This has been a crazy day. 

But remembering how you smile yesterday, made it a whole lot easier...

Your smile, my remedy...

Oh how I need my remedy right now.

"You've got that smile,

That only heaven can make."

Faithfully waiting the next time to see your smile,

Jane

 

Fortune Favors The Bold

My Goo,

I'm feeling so blessed. 

Good fortune is in my favor. 

Grateful for my impromptu meeting schedule in your office's area. 

I got to see you  :)

On the very last night you're in this city. 

I love to see your smile when you first saw me...as always, made my heart skip a beat. 

I love how you extend your hand, kinda asking me to take it and hold it. 

I love how you help me cross the road, how you switch sides between lanes. 

Do you realize that you always do these things?

Those small things that matter. 

It matters a great deal to me. 

Gonna be a very long 3 weeks for sure.  

Be safe okay Goo, that's all I asked of you. 

Not a goodbye...

So...I'll see you soon then. 

Yours,

Jane

Dream Big Shall We?

Dear Jane,

I was just excited as you were dear...
I was also very looking forward in meeting you
The thought of meeting you gave me the same happy mood as well

Last night was splendid
I can spend hours just talking with you
Sharing stories, sharing laughters, sharing our dreams for the future
It's always excites me every time we discuss about what the future might hold for us
Taking baby steps toward our dreams

I miss you already dear..
Hope to see you again before I have to be shipped off

One message for you, for us...
Let's dream big okay? :)

I love you so...

Always in anticipation,
Goo

Waiting For Tonight

My Goo,

Time seems to fly when we're having fun, when we're happy but time seems to freeze when we were waiting for something. 

That's what happen today. 

The time seems to run in a slo-mo when I'm waiting for tonight. 

I'm meeting you tonight...yeeay...! :)

Counting to the hours, the minutes, down to the seconds, not helping..obviously!

Only making things worse. 

Silly me...

Well Goo...am feeling like a silly little school girl who's meeting up with her crush. Stupid silly girl...

I can't stop smiling...

I'm in a happy mood...

I'm constantly smiling while writing this...

Wanna fast forward the time. 

I'll see you real soon, k?

Yours in anticipation,

Jane

Can't Hardly Wait

My Goo,

Am super excited for our upcoming trip :)

I have prepared everything. 

It's all done. 

You know me...always plan everything to the tiny detail. 

Aah...I can't wait Goo. 

Hope you're as excited as I am. 

Yours,

Jane

Oh How I Love The Rain

Hey Goo,

It's raining everyday for this pass week. 

You know how the rain always makes me feel so mellow...

My mind wonders to you.

I smile to the thought of you. 

I can't help it, made me missing you. 

Yours,

Jane

Blue Sky After Every Storm

My Goo,

Have I ever told you that I'm collecting pictures of skies as I travel?

I wanna capture how magnificent our Lord is.

I wanna remember that no matter how big my trouble is in life, It's not that big if we saw it in a bird-eye perspective. 

I wanna remember that there will always a bright blue sky after every strom. For sure!

I'm sharing my series of blue skies with you, hoping it could be a reminder for you as well. 

Yours,

Jane :)

Not Enough Time Apparently

My Jane,

I notice your busy schedule lately. 

We've been living in the same city for almost a month now but apparently it is still hard finding a time for us to spend together. 

Unfortunately, I won't be in the city for long. Gonna be shipped out next month. So soon...not enough for us, I know. But, am still grateful. We'll just have to make do of what we have now. 

I miss you Jane...

Reading your stories, made me miss our endless conversations. 

I miss how you play with your hair while telling a story and how you laugh in the middle of your funny story. 

I love how your eyes seem to laugh along with your laughter. 

Your eyes...they express a lot of things. 

I can see what you're feeling through your eyes. 

I miss you Jane...

Are you feeling better?

Sleep early okay...

Gud nyt dear...

Yours,

Goo

A Big World Out There

I like to spend time in a coffee shop, find a cozy seat by the window and just watch the world goes by. 

A family just walked in, mom, dad and baby girl around 2 year-old sleeping in her stroller. Cute baby girl with curly blonde hair, chubby cheeks and a small red thin lips. I smile in an instant. The parents caught my eyes watching their sleeping baby girl and smile back. They took the seats in the middle of the shop by the fluffy sofa. I figure that they need a cozy seating for the baby. 

A gentleman in a business suit walked in, then hurried to the counter to place his order. Luckily for him, there's no que. His mobile phone rings and he immediately press his bluetooth-handsfree set which already attached to his right ear. He talks in a rapid manner, giving instructions and some approvals. Someone important, I bet. 

I turn my attention to the young couples who just walked in. They caught my attention cause of their loud voice and laughs. I figure they must be in their early 20s, maybe uni students if judging from their appearance. The boy has his arm around the girl's waistline, guiding her to the seat corner at the other side of the shop. She whispers something into his ear and he smile. Aahh...young love.

See...it's interesting to assess people. Figuring out their stories, their life and just simply realizing there's a big world out there...

Hhmm...okay, I gotta get going to my next meeting. Aah, this is typical me lately, always running in between meetings. 

So, my advice...take 10 minutes out of your busy schedule, drop everything for that 10 minutes and just enjoy the world passing right before your eyes. 

And don't forget to smile...

:)

 

4th Author's Note - The Prologue

This is actually my first entry on the story of Jane and Goo, this is how it all started. I posted this in my other blog, at first I thought this is not essential to the story but the more I think of it, the more it matters. So, here goes...

One smile, two words and three seconds later...

My day just got better

That simple...

Over a cup of coffee and a pack of cigarette we begin this story

A story about a girl and a boy

Like any other love story, this one is no different

What makes it so special then?

Nothing maybe, just the feeling of love itself makes it worth telling

Isn't it right?

Her name is Jane (from Songs about Jane)

And his name is Goo (from A Boy Named Goo)

Love may not be something that they both want to find...

But Love found them...

And so it begins...

I'll Meet You in My Drym

Sweet Jane,

Are you okay?

Please tell that you've gone to see the doc...

Drink your medicine, eat your food right, sleep well and get better soon. 

I'll hold you close and keep you warm thru the night. 

Gud nyt dear, hv a nice drym...

Yours as well,

Goo

I'll Dream of You

My Goo,

I'm turning in early tonight, k?

I'm still not well and I can't skip office. 

So I need to be in my 'best' condition, whatever that is at this point. 

At least without the fever and sore throat, that'd be great. 

I wish you were here...

Hold me thru the night and keep me warm.

Good nite Goo, rest well...

Yours,

Jane

The Best Plan Is Not To Plan

It was raining hard that morning. 

I even struggled to get up from my bed, something that almost never happen to me. 

I called to wake you up and told you that I'm getting ready then drive to the coffee shop just around the corner from your place. 

The rain was still pouring hard by the time I got to the coffee shop. 

I ordered cappucino while waiting for you, I need my morning fix of cafeine before I start my day. 

I opened my book, started to read while enjoying my ciggy and cappucino. 

I didn't even notice when you came.

I suddenly hear your voice "Hey dear.." And  you kissed me by the forehead. 

I always love it when you do that, took me by surprise. 

Just like that, you've brighten up my mood and got me excited to start the day with you. 

"Are you ready or do you want to finish your coffee first?" You asked me while taking the seat next to me. 

"Do you mind if we wait here for a while, at least until the rain stop?" I said while putting away my book into my bag and focussing only to him. 

"Sure. Let me order something first." Then he kissed me by the forehead again while he's standing up. 

Stupid heart...after all these time, I thought that I might get a better hold on my own heart. It's still beating fast every single time he did that. 

We talked about the night before. 

This is kind of our morning ritual, discussing the detail of what happened when we're not together. 

Time always pass by fast whenever we're together. 

"The rain has stopped, shall we get going now Goo? We have a lot of things to do today."

He held my hand, opened the door and we walked hand-in-hand to my car. 

A warm feeling crawled up to my heart. 

I felt safe, I felt happy...

"I love you Goo..." And gave him the happiest smile accross my face.

"I love you too dear." He pulled me closer to him, put his hand around my waist and  kissed my forehead again. 

This story is one of the reason why I believe that most of the time, our happiest moment happen when we do not plan anything. It just happen. 

What we need to do is to let it happen. 

Sometime the best plan is not to plan. 

:)

Over A Cup of Tea

My Goo,

It's a cold day here...we had thunderstorm since a little pass afternoon. 

And I'm not well today, been having fever since last night. 

Thus, I'm shivering cold. 

I still have plenty of time until my next meeting, so I decided to find some coffee shop and have a steaming hot cup of tea for passing the time during this nightmare of a weather. 

I choose the corner seat by the window. 

You know how much I love the rains, yeah...this is thunderstorm but it still counts as rain. :)

I see the people going in and out of the coffee shop, most with their big umbrella which barely protects them from the rain, some came with raincoats, dripping wet from head to toes. The coffee shop become so packed in just matter of minutes. 

I hold the steaming hot cup of earl grey, hoping to warm my self up. It worked a little, stop shivering for a bit.

Okay, I'm a bit warm now and gotta go to my meeting. 

Have a great day Goo...

Just want you to know that even the thunderstorm makes me think of you. 

Yours,

Jane

Soundtrack of The Day - 19 May 2014

Come to Me - Goo Goo Dolls

"Come to me my sweetest friend

Can you feel my heart again

I'll take you back where you belong

And this will be our favorite song

Come to me with secrets bare

I'll love you more so don't be scared

When we're old and near the end

We'll go home and start again"

When 1% Means Thousands Times More Than Just 1%

My Goo,

It's like we hit the pause button and now we hit play.

This thing that we do, the feelings that we have, the moments that we shared...they are unique.

May not happen once in someone's life time.

So, I cherish this...

I realise that we do not need to define everything in life.

As I grew older, I understand that not all things are black or white.

Sometime, it just what it is.

Can I ask a favor from you?

This time, please don't freak out...and don't assume.

We both agreed that assumptions often lead to negative thoughts.

I know that words are never your strong suits but at least try out first okay?

I'll be patient...

Let us talk everything out, express everything, and just start fresh.

Open up new fresh pages for new stories.

Let me meet you halfway...

"1% maybe insignificant to others but it's never for me."

You matter that much...!

Yours,

Jane

I Forgot How to Smile Without You

Smile - Nat King Cole

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you"

I've been living my days without any sincere smile lately. 

I simply forget how to smile without you. 

Still wondering when will this time passed. 

When will I have you again in my days Goo. 

Traces of you in my mind, lingered...

Please bring back the reason for me to smile...you!

I'm aching in missing you...

Still here,

- Jane - 

All The Time and Space You Need

Goo,

I'm giving you the time and space. 

I'd stop counting the days, seems pointless now. 

So, when ever you're ready to talk just let me know. 

- Jane -

Unexpected Message

Dear Jane,

I'm so sorry...

For everything that I've put you through. 

Please give me a little more time. 

I will explain everything. 

I promise...

Still yours,

Goo

First Test : Day 6

The only certain thing to do that usually helps me during time like this...

Is to exercise. 

Burning calories helps. 

The endorphin helps. 

Biking really helped me today. 

The wind, the sun and right songs are the perfect combination. 

I found serenity...

And in those couple of hours, I can totally block you out of my mind. 

I feel happy. 

You are not the cause of that happy feeling. 

Ironic...

It made me realize that I can be happy without you. 

Such a strong statement isnt it Goo?

I'm just taking back the control of my feelings, my life. 

Like I said, I can be strong too, you know?

First Test : Day 5

Thinking back on this last 5 days. 

It is actually such a short period of time. 

I mean 5 days....5 days!

But God....feels like a lifetime. 

Kinda like a rollercoster ride of emotions. 

And maybe I'm over reacted a bit, yeah...okay, I freaked out. 

You mean that much to me. 

And I love you that much. 

That should be obvious by now. 

A week from now, a month, a year...

I'd be looking back and I'd be so ashamed of my self and how I reacted to this whole thing. 

I'd focus on only one thing now. 

How to get pass this. 

I'd find a way, I always do. 

Goo, hope you're okay and that you're safe. Be safe, k?

- Jane -

Another Sleepless Night

I admit that I'm mad at you. 

Mad at this stupid little test that you've put us through. 

Mad at me for not being able to do anything to change it. 

Mad at me for the person that I've become. 

But especially mad at you for not showing any effort towards us nor me. 

This whole thing made me question a lot of things. 

Over thinking leads to negative thoughts, isnt it?

And you know me, I tend to overthink things. 

Better add that to my list : Jane, the over-thinker. 

Anyway, I do owe it to you and to us. 

Let us talk, let me understand your side of the story. 

And let us decide on what to do next. 

Stupid little test

Stupid little Jane with all her worriness (worried too much might I add). 

The same old Jane with slight alteration to her feelings. 

The Point of No Return

I'm used to having you in my everyday life. 

I can call you whenever and tell you everything about my day, my ups and downs. 

I've become dependent to you. 

Something that I have promised my self that I wont do ever again, becoming dependent to someone. 

And when you're not here like this, I feel like the ground below my feet has been lifted and I have no place to stand. 

I hate this...

This person who I become is not me. 

Still no news from you, it's been a very long and painful 4 days. 

I'm starting to think that you have stopped caring and maybe even stopped loving me. 

Cause you seem dont even try to make any contact. 

Call me selfish but I do think that I have the rights, we're in this relationship together after all. 

Anger starting to fill up my heart. 

This isnt fair Goo, just as simple as that. 

Maybe this is emotions talking but...I'm walking away now. 

Away from us and our feelings. 

We have our own limitations and I have certainly reached mine. 

- Jane -

First Test : Day 4

Acceptance...

I think that is the key to make this time easier, for me at least. 

But it doesnt mean that I am okay with this, cause I'm still not. 

Accepting is just part of the process. 

Keep playing our playlist on my ipod. 

Each song brings different memory of you, of us, of our time together. 

I miss everything, I miss my Goo...

It's going to be another long day. 

One day at a time, one baby step after another. 

Learning to get through the day without you. 

Giving time some time...

And going crazier every freaking time passed. 

Aaaahh....*long and deep sigh*

- Jane -

When God Paints The Sky

I'm sharing this sunset with you Goo. 

Cause where ever you are right now, we still share the same sky...

Still thinking of you. 

- Jane -

3rd Author's Note

Jane and Goo are fictional characters that I created. 

Their story is fictional but based on true events in my life. 

Jane's character is a lot like mine. 

Strong-willed, detail-oriented and believe in love as a great force in life. 

Goo's character is my idea of a person, the perfect partner in love. 

Based on men in my life : brother, friends, and ex boyfriends. 

Creating my idea of a person. 

Through their story, I relive love, happiness, heartaches, and random thoughts.

And through their story, my stories live on...

Soundtrack of The Day - 2 Jan 2014

Say Something - A Great Big World

"Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

Anywhere, I would've followed you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye."

- Jane -

Our Own Limitation

I can feel that my heart is giving up on us. 

My heart is saying goodbye. 

My common sense is struggling to stay sane and thinking straight. 

But Goo, we all have our limit. 

And maybe...I have reached mine. 

I'm preparing to say goodbye....

First Test : Day 3

I feel so stupid for acting like this. 

Needy, cranky and desperate. 

All the things that I never want to be as a person. 

I dont like this for one bit. 

So, I made a decision. 

I'm gonna respect this 'distance'. 

Cause I'm on the verge of not caring. 

It is just simply too painful for me. 

And I'm preparing for the worst to come. 

Understanding the risk that I might lose you. 

So whenever you're ready, I really think that we need to have a serious talk. 

Come what may...

Your Jane 

(who's trying to be tough)

First Test : Day 2

This is so not the way to start a new year. 

Desperate attempts on distracting my mind off of you. 

All failed miserably...

We were in such a good place before you left and I really dont know what went wrong. 

We were happy, werent we?

Please call me Goo

Ease this torture of not knowing

I'm waiting for any sort of news from you....

I'm still here

The same old Jane. 

First Test : Day 1

I'm going crazy of not knowing

I've kept checking my phone

Jump to pick up my phone everytime it rings, hoping it was you...

But my heart sunk further when I read the caller ID and it's not you

Where are you?

What are you doing?

I miss you...

Are you thinking of me Goo?

Do you miss me too? Just as much as I miss you?

I juat dont understand why we have to do this stupid thing. 

Isnt it hard enough being apart thousand miles away?

It's not like we need to add more distance between us. 

Why do we need to stay out of touch from each other?

What is it going to proof anyway?

I've kept having this feeling that I might lose you after this. 

That you might come back as a completely different person.

That you're no longer my Goo...

Uuurrgghh...I hate this Goo...

So much!

I miss you...