All The Time and Space You Need

Goo,

I'm giving you the time and space. 

I'd stop counting the days, seems pointless now. 

So, when ever you're ready to talk just let me know. 

- Jane -

Unexpected Message

Dear Jane,

I'm so sorry...

For everything that I've put you through. 

Please give me a little more time. 

I will explain everything. 

I promise...

Still yours,

Goo

First Test : Day 6

The only certain thing to do that usually helps me during time like this...

Is to exercise. 

Burning calories helps. 

The endorphin helps. 

Biking really helped me today. 

The wind, the sun and right songs are the perfect combination. 

I found serenity...

And in those couple of hours, I can totally block you out of my mind. 

I feel happy. 

You are not the cause of that happy feeling. 

Ironic...

It made me realize that I can be happy without you. 

Such a strong statement isnt it Goo?

I'm just taking back the control of my feelings, my life. 

Like I said, I can be strong too, you know?

First Test : Day 5

Thinking back on this last 5 days. 

It is actually such a short period of time. 

I mean 5 days....5 days!

But God....feels like a lifetime. 

Kinda like a rollercoster ride of emotions. 

And maybe I'm over reacted a bit, yeah...okay, I freaked out. 

You mean that much to me. 

And I love you that much. 

That should be obvious by now. 

A week from now, a month, a year...

I'd be looking back and I'd be so ashamed of my self and how I reacted to this whole thing. 

I'd focus on only one thing now. 

How to get pass this. 

I'd find a way, I always do. 

Goo, hope you're okay and that you're safe. Be safe, k?

- Jane -

Another Sleepless Night

I admit that I'm mad at you. 

Mad at this stupid little test that you've put us through. 

Mad at me for not being able to do anything to change it. 

Mad at me for the person that I've become. 

But especially mad at you for not showing any effort towards us nor me. 

This whole thing made me question a lot of things. 

Over thinking leads to negative thoughts, isnt it?

And you know me, I tend to overthink things. 

Better add that to my list : Jane, the over-thinker. 

Anyway, I do owe it to you and to us. 

Let us talk, let me understand your side of the story. 

And let us decide on what to do next. 

Stupid little test

Stupid little Jane with all her worriness (worried too much might I add). 

The same old Jane with slight alteration to her feelings. 

The Point of No Return

I'm used to having you in my everyday life. 

I can call you whenever and tell you everything about my day, my ups and downs. 

I've become dependent to you. 

Something that I have promised my self that I wont do ever again, becoming dependent to someone. 

And when you're not here like this, I feel like the ground below my feet has been lifted and I have no place to stand. 

I hate this...

This person who I become is not me. 

Still no news from you, it's been a very long and painful 4 days. 

I'm starting to think that you have stopped caring and maybe even stopped loving me. 

Cause you seem dont even try to make any contact. 

Call me selfish but I do think that I have the rights, we're in this relationship together after all. 

Anger starting to fill up my heart. 

This isnt fair Goo, just as simple as that. 

Maybe this is emotions talking but...I'm walking away now. 

Away from us and our feelings. 

We have our own limitations and I have certainly reached mine. 

- Jane -

First Test : Day 4

Acceptance...

I think that is the key to make this time easier, for me at least. 

But it doesnt mean that I am okay with this, cause I'm still not. 

Accepting is just part of the process. 

Keep playing our playlist on my ipod. 

Each song brings different memory of you, of us, of our time together. 

I miss everything, I miss my Goo...

It's going to be another long day. 

One day at a time, one baby step after another. 

Learning to get through the day without you. 

Giving time some time...

And going crazier every freaking time passed. 

Aaaahh....*long and deep sigh*

- Jane -

When God Paints The Sky

I'm sharing this sunset with you Goo. 

Cause where ever you are right now, we still share the same sky...

Still thinking of you. 

- Jane -

3rd Author's Note

Jane and Goo are fictional characters that I created. 

Their story is fictional but based on true events in my life. 

Jane's character is a lot like mine. 

Strong-willed, detail-oriented and believe in love as a great force in life. 

Goo's character is my idea of a person, the perfect partner in love. 

Based on men in my life : brother, friends, and ex boyfriends. 

Creating my idea of a person. 

Through their story, I relive love, happiness, heartaches, and random thoughts.

And through their story, my stories live on...

Soundtrack of The Day - 2 Jan 2014

Say Something - A Great Big World

"Say something, I'm giving up on you.

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.

Anywhere, I would've followed you.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye."

- Jane -

Our Own Limitation

I can feel that my heart is giving up on us. 

My heart is saying goodbye. 

My common sense is struggling to stay sane and thinking straight. 

But Goo, we all have our limit. 

And maybe...I have reached mine. 

I'm preparing to say goodbye....

First Test : Day 3

I feel so stupid for acting like this. 

Needy, cranky and desperate. 

All the things that I never want to be as a person. 

I dont like this for one bit. 

So, I made a decision. 

I'm gonna respect this 'distance'. 

Cause I'm on the verge of not caring. 

It is just simply too painful for me. 

And I'm preparing for the worst to come. 

Understanding the risk that I might lose you. 

So whenever you're ready, I really think that we need to have a serious talk. 

Come what may...

Your Jane 

(who's trying to be tough)

First Test : Day 2

This is so not the way to start a new year. 

Desperate attempts on distracting my mind off of you. 

All failed miserably...

We were in such a good place before you left and I really dont know what went wrong. 

We were happy, werent we?

Please call me Goo

Ease this torture of not knowing

I'm waiting for any sort of news from you....

I'm still here

The same old Jane. 

First Test : Day 1

I'm going crazy of not knowing

I've kept checking my phone

Jump to pick up my phone everytime it rings, hoping it was you...

But my heart sunk further when I read the caller ID and it's not you

Where are you?

What are you doing?

I miss you...

Are you thinking of me Goo?

Do you miss me too? Just as much as I miss you?

I juat dont understand why we have to do this stupid thing. 

Isnt it hard enough being apart thousand miles away?

It's not like we need to add more distance between us. 

Why do we need to stay out of touch from each other?

What is it going to proof anyway?

I've kept having this feeling that I might lose you after this. 

That you might come back as a completely different person.

That you're no longer my Goo...

Uuurrgghh...I hate this Goo...

So much!

I miss you...