When Will It Get Easier Than This?

I know that being without you is hard. 

But being with you was just as hard and sometimes even harder...

Yet...here I am, still very much hung up on you. 

And still very much in love with you. 

Stupid...stupid girl.

Word of the day: Saudade

I miss you Goo...

Places we visited remind me of you. 

Songs we used to listen to together remind me of how big our love was.

Pictures of us remind me of how good we really were together. 

I have been broken hearted before...

But nothing compares to this pain that I'm feeling right now. 

I know that living my life without you won't be easy. 

But I didn't know that it would be this hard. 

I'm in agony. 

But I can't say nor show anything to anyone which makes everything twice as hard. 

Word of the day: Saudade. 

Look it up...

That word pretty much summaries what I'm feeling. 

I thought that letting you go was the hardest thing that I have to do. 

I was wrong...

Cause this pain....no words can ever describe. 

I wish you well dear Goo. 

Once Upon a Time in Spring 20XX

When flowers began to bloom in One faithful afternoon of Spring 20XX, so did our love. 

They bloomed with big dreams and high hopes. 

We nurtured and protected it with every fiber of our being. 

Hoping we could harvest it one day (soon). 

But little that we know, it is not as easy nor simple as we thought it would be. 

Challenges after challenges, obstacles after obstacles...we tried to conquer each and every one of it. 

Maybe we are both too tired to put on a fight. 

Maybe our strengths are no longer remain. 

Maybe...it is time to call it a quit. 

Maybe it is time to accept that there are somethings that can not be mended. 

And no matter how hard we've tried to fight the changes happened, it is just beyond our limit. 

Maybe it is time to stop fighting those changes and finally accept that we have lost this battle. 

Maybe it is time to call it a quit. 

The Hardest Note

Sometime loving someone doesn't mean to have that someone. 

Sometime it means to let go and let him be happy. 

Even if you're not the reason for that happiness. 

And if you do let go, then it means that you're a bigger person. 

Or trying to be at least...

Soundtrack of The Day - 30 Oct 2015

Stay Just a Little - Kina Grannis

"I heard it in your voice when your love died

On a telephone connection spinning miles and miles of wire

You said it was over and I cried and cried

You were gone before I said goodbye

And I don't like to think it is true

The distance came between us like a knife that cut through

When did we go wrong and let it all undo

The only one I ever loved was you

Would you stay just a little my love

Would you just wait just a little my love

Cause the hole in the middle of my heart needs fillin' up

If you stayed just a little that's enough

It kills me as I lay awake at night

Remembering the last kiss that we shared doesn't feel right

Is it impossible for me to win this fight

Keep you a little a longer in my life.

Would you stay just a little my love

Would you just wait just a little my love

Cause the hole in the middle of my heart needs fillin' up

If you stayed just a little that's enough

Would you stay just a little my love

Would you just wait just a little my love

Cause the hole in the middle of my heart needs fillin' up

If you stayed just a little...

If you stayed just a little... that's enough"

Say Something I'm Giving Up On You

Dear Goo,

What should one do when all hopes and faith that one has are hanging on a thread?

Should one keep holding on? Or should one just let go?

What reason do I have to keep holding on?

When all signs and things seem to told me otherwise?

Love, you say?

Is it enough?

I'm not a quitter...I never am

But let's be logical here...

One has its limit, I've told you this. 

And I almost reach mine...

The most painful truth is...

I'm not happy being with you anymore.

Maybe this is never a battle that I'm suppose to fight for...

Yours?

Jane

Is It Just My Feelings or Is It Not?

My Goo,

Maybe it's the distance 

Maybe it's the busy schedules we both have

Maybe it's the nature of our relationship which is so complicated right from the get go

Maybe it's only my worries of losing you

Hmmm....I don't really know why...

But...I feel like you're slipping away from me

And no matter how hard I've tried...you feel so out of reach from me

Even further away with every passing day

Those small things that you used to do

The little things that seem insignificant to others but those could always melt my heart in an instant

Those small things...are now only distant memories

I never see those, never feel those, never experience those anymore 

I told you once before: "I want you to fight for me, for us. I want to see those efforts from you."

Unfortunately...I never see those either  

Is it just me? Or is it not?

What is going on Goo?

Are we becoming those couples who drifted apart and just went on our separate ways without even any goodbye?

Yours in despair,

Jane